What to Do When School Calls

Parenting Support

Building Your Toolbox With Kamilya

When School Calls, Don't Panic

Even with consistent routines, problems can still arise at school.

Maybe you receive a phone call from your child's school asking you to come in for a meeting about behavior, academics, attendance, or social concerns.

Your first thought might be:

“What is it now?”

Followed by a deep sigh and the realization that you really do not have room for one more thing on your plate.

I hear you.

And I challenge you to view that meeting differently.

What if the meeting is an opportunity to learn more about your child rather than a sign that something has gone wrong?

Your child spends a significant portion of their day at school. You are not there for most of those hours, which means there are parts of your child's experience that you simply cannot see.

A conversation with your child's teacher, counselor, social worker, or another school professional may give you valuable insight into what is happening.

Maybe your child is struggling academically.

Maybe they are having difficulty making friends.

Maybe they are experiencing school anxiety.

Maybe something has happened that they have not felt comfortable talking about at home.

Or perhaps the school is reaching out because they genuinely want to know how they can better support your child.

As a parent, you are one of the most important pieces of the puzzle.

Schools, teachers, counselors, and administrators can provide valuable support, but they cannot do it alone.

They need you—and, in many cases, you need them too.

Here is a quick step by step guide to help you when you answer the call from school.

Remember: Behavior Is Communication

Children often do not have the words or emotional tools to explain what they are experiencing.

Behavior is the way they communicate that something is wrong or there is a need that is not being met.

The difficult part is figuring out what they are trying to communicate and schools can help put the puzzle pieces together.

Connect With Your Child's School Support Team

When you reach out to the school, try to approach the conversation as a partnership. The goal is not to determine who is at fault.

Does your child’s school have a social worker?

Who is their school counselor?

Are there other support professionals available?

The goal is to understand what your child needs and determine how the adults in their life can work together to support them.

School staff are often stretched thin, and their availability may be limited. Do not interpret the absence of a call as a sign that your child would not benefit from additional support.

You can make the call. 

If their school cannot meet with you immediately, they may be able to point you in the right direction or connect you with someone who can help. 

Give Yourself Some Grace, Too

There will be difficult mornings.

There will be frustrating phone calls.

There may be work struggles, relationship problems, financial stress, or days when you do not feel like getting out of bed and leaving your home feels like an accomplishment.

Give yourself some grace.

You do not need to have all the answers. You do not have to create the perfect routine. And you certainly do not have to figure everything out overnight.

Progress can look like noticing something has changed, asking questions or being willing to reach out for support.

You Don't Have to Navigate It Alone

If your child is struggling with school anxiety, behavioral changes, academic stress, friendships, transitions, or other challenges, therapy can provide a safe space to explore what may be happening beneath the surface. It can also be a supportive space for parents.

At Rooted in Kindness Counseling, I work with children, teens, adults, parents and families to better understand their experiences, strengthen relationships, develop insight, and create meaningful change.

As a parent, you do not need to have it all figured out. Lean on your child’s school for support. By partnering with their school you have the power to change their experiences for the best.

Sometimes, finding your family's flow simply starts with slowing down, getting curious, and asking:

“What does my child need right now?”

And if you are not sure, that is okay.

A better question might be, “What do I need right now?”

You and your child do not have to navigate this alone.